Implosive Disgorgence (2005-2008)

Band: Implosive Disgorgence

Genre: Death Metal/Grindcore

City/Country: Pompano Beach, FL, USA

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Cascades Of Burning Sewage EP (2004)

Track Listing:

1. Mutilation Syndicate (0:46)

2. Demands Through Obliteration (2:04)

3. Vomiting Adrenal Medulla (1:26)

4. Manifesting Disolution (1:55)

5. Intrinsic Decay (2:46)

6. Catatonic Infusion (1:30)

Recommendation: 5. Intrinsic Decay

Download

Self-Titled EP (2007)

Track Listing:

1. Chapter 1 (1:07)

2. Chapter 2 (1:31)

3. Chapter 3 (1:24)

4. Chapter 4 (1:27)

5. Chapter 5 (1:06)

Recommendation: 2. Chapter 2

Download

Chapters Redux (2008)

Track Listing:

1. Confined To Torment (2:22)

2. Preeminent Execution (2:09)

3. Disemboweled Left To Rot (2:15)

Recommendation: 1. Confined To Torment

Download

Trespassers William Discography (1999-2009)

Band: Trespassers William

Genre: Indie Rock/Ambient/Folk

City/Country: Seattle, Washington, USA

Website: Official, Myspace, Last.fm

Anchor (1999)

Track Listing:

1. I Know (5:04)

2. Desert (3:53)

3. Anchor (5:38)

4. Washes Away (4:11)

5. Cabinet (3:52)

6. Broken (4:56)

7. My Eyes Were Closed (3:01)

8. It's Been A Shame (3:18)

9. Umbrella (5:03)

10. Stay, There's Nowhere Else (5:34)

Recommendation: 8. It's Been A Shame

Download

Different Stars (2004)

Track Listing:

1. Intro (1:17)

2. Lie In The Sound (5:43)

3. Different Stars (4:43)

4. Alone (5:01)

5. Let You Down (4:58)

6. Love Is Blindness (6:59)

7. Flicker (5:28)

8. Fragment (6:25)

9. Love You More (5:59)

10. Just Like This (7:44)

11. Untitled (5:17)

12. What Could I Say (5:03)

13. In A Song (6:24)

14. Untitled (12:53) *track 11 & 12 combined*

Recommendation: 13. In A Song

Download

Having (2006)

Track Listing:

1. Safe Sound (5:58)

2. What Of Me (5:14)

3. Weakening (4:19)

4. Eyes Like Bottles (1:37)

5. I Don't Mind (4:26)

6. Ledge (4:51)

7. And We Lean In (3:57)

8. My Hands Up (6:01)

9. Low Point (5:54)

10. No One (3:19)

11. Matching Weight (10:26)

Recommendation: 11. Matching Weight

Download

Noble House EP (2007)

Track Listing:

1. More Past (3:44)

2. Right You Are (3:48)

3. Thousand (4:56)

4. Felt Leaves (3:48)

5. Piano Concert (8:01)

6. To Be The One (6:27)

Recommendation: 1. More Past

Download

The Natural Order Of Things EP (2009)

Track Listing:

1. Sparrow (5:15)

2. The Lids (3:32)

3. Red (5:35)

4. Catch Not Break (6:16)

5. I Could Go Back (3:51)

Recommendation: 4. Catch Not Break

Download

Ion Dissonance Discography (2003-2007)

Band: Ion Dissonance

Genre: Technical Death Metal/Grindcore/Mathcore

City/Country: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Breathing Is Irrelevant (2003)

Track Listing:

1. Substantial Guilt Vs. The Irony Of Enjoying (3:29)

2. The Bud Dwyer Effect (4:41)

3. Failure In The Process Of Identifying A Dream (4:40)

4. 101101110110001 (2:34)

5. Binary, Pt. 2 (4:06)

6. The Death Of One Man Is A Tragedy. The Death Of 10,000 Is A Statistic (2:03)

7. Oceanic Motion (3:19)

8. The Girl Next Door Is Always Screaming (3:30)

9. A Regular Dose Of Azure (3:47)

Recommendation: 2. The Bud Dwyer Effect

Download

Solace (2005)

Track Listing:

1. Play Dead ... And I'll Play Along (4:08)

2. O.A.S.D. (3:17)

3. Cleansed By Silence (3:39)

4. She's Strychnine (3:30)

5. Nil :: Solaris (2:57)

6. Lecturing Raskolnikov (Or How To Properly Stab An Old Widow) (3:25)

7. You're Not Carving Deep Enough (2:41)

8. Shut Up, I'm Trying To Worry (3:47)

9. Signature (3:16)

10. A Prelude Of Things Worse To Come (11:07)

Recommendation: 2. O.A.S.D.

Download

Split With Despised Icon: Demos 2002 & 2004 (2006)

Track Listing:

1. She's Strychnine (3:22)

2. The Girl Next Door Is Always Screaming (3:21)

3. The Bud Dwyer Effect (4:24)

Recommendation: 3. The Bud Dwyer Effect

Download

Minus The Herd (2007)

Track Listing:

1. The Surge (3:20)

2. Through Evidence (2:47)

3. Kneel (3:05)

4. Shunned Redeemer (3:54)

5. You Shouldn't Be Alive (2:18)

6. Scorn Haven (4:15)

7. Of Me ... Nobody Is Safe (3:00)

8. Untitled (1:30)

9. Void Of Conscience (3:40)

10. Tarnished Trepidation (5:16)

Recommendation: 1. The Surge

Download

BML #6: The "Nacho Chip" Story

This particular story happened not too long ago. I would think maybe 4 days ago before this post. I almost was not going to post this particular story since it happens quite often to some people and I figured wouldn't be a good addition to the Beav My Life legacy. But today I recited this incident to my friend Teresa on the way to school and I found a humorous style of this story. So I decided to write this article now.

As I do almost every single night of my lonely life, I sit on my bed watching Adult Swim or HBO eating whatever is easy to make in my fridge. There's this simple snack I've enjoyed since I was little is a plate full of nachos with melted cheddar cheese, jalapenos and herbs on top. Nutritious? No. Delicious? Definitely.

In the middle of my cheesy meal, I get a sharp tinge in the front of my throat. Like behind my adam's apple. Logically, I assumed I had a shard of nacho lodged in my throat because apparently I barely chew my shit before I swallow. *rolls eyes*

I finished my nacho's in hope of dislodging my stubborn piece of corn chip. Also, drinking literally a gallon of water trying to soften the splinter of nacho. Audibly hacking phlegm, trying to move the fucker out of my epiglottis. I wish I could show you the sounds I was making as I was performing my oral cleansing as they were quite hilarious themselves.

I threw away my plate and walked back to the sink where I resumed my coughing and hawking my throat out. The irritation caused by this bastard was immense. I eventually started choking so hard that I inevitably vomited into the sink. The contents of my stomach blasted out of my mouth and nose. Corn bits, cheese paste, diced jalapenos, and oregano peppered about. As you can imagine (probably not), the feeling of jalapenos going through your nasal cavity is about the same experience as snorting hot sauce for your drunk friends entertainment. As aching tears flowed from my eyes from the burning sensation the jalapenos granted me, the fucking pain remained in my throat.

In due course, I said, "Fuck it!" and continued to bed.

Waking up the next morning (well, who am I kidding? Next afternoon), I noticed the same feeling in my throat only this time it wasn't as irritating and painful. Confused, I drank some water and thought about what else that feeling could be. I concluded that it couldn't be an embedded fragment of corn chip since after all I drank and ate in duration of the ordeal should have displaced the piece of nacho out of my throat. The only other possibility was that the broken chip might have subtly lacerated my throat while eating shards of corn chip. Like that was any fucking better...

Knock Em Dead - Endless Struggle

Band: Knock Em Dead

Genre: Hardcore/Metal

City/Country: Miami, Florida, USA

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Endless Struggle (2010)

Track Listing:

1. Killing Hope (2:52)

2. Endless Struggle (3:17)

3. Never Forget (1:27)

4. War Within (1:57)

5. Anger (2:18)

6. The Power Of Pushing Back (3:13)

7. Pain (1:49)

8. New World (1:58)

9. Alone (2:00)

10. Unbroken Man (2:22)

11. Realization (1:51)

12. Welcome To My World (2:46)

Recommendation: 11. Realization

Download

With this particular album, please support this band in any way possible.

They are going on tour soon with Donnybrook and Rhinoceros.

Catch them at a venue near you.

They are friends of mine and deserve everything they earn. They are one of

the hardest working bands in America today. Please, out of the courtesy

of the underground hardcore scene and music, purchase this album and

everything else that they have available.

BML #5: The "Bare Foot" Story

This is another tour story (which reminds me, Toy Story 3 comes out the day before my birthday).

On our 4th day of tour, we resided in St. Petersburg at our drummer Justin's dad's best friend's house. The house itself was literally only 1,000 or 2,000 feet from beach of the Gulf of Mexico. It was a ridiculously beautiful day in Tampa and we all wanted to spend the day at the beach. It was actually a swell idea and there aren't many chances for me to see the Gulf of Mexico since I live near the Atlantic Ocean on the other side of Florida.

I figured since the beach is so close to the house, it would be logical to just walk to the beach and enjoy the day there. Since I don't wear sandals ever, I wear sneakers instead. Therefore, I don't wear shoes to the beach because sand + sneakers = fuck you. So I walked barefoot to the beach ... terrible idea. The asphalt was literally and metaphorically hot coals, the black pavement being a thousand times hotter than the gravelly gray roads. The second I placed my naked feet on the road, I felt the intensity of a million suns burning on my soles. I figured if I ran to the beach swiftly enough, the pain will subside once I rush my fat ass to the ocean. I swear to you guys, I tried so hard to sprint to the salty finish line, but my legs stopped working due to the unbearable heat from the road. I hopped like a elephant on egg shells across the road and the dirty sand on the street before the beach.

When I finally got to the beach, the sand was no improvement. That shit was just like road in granulated form. I raced to the deep blue panacea as fast as my chubby burnt stubs could take me. In mid-pace, I threw my towel on the sand by the shore and jumped into the water, holding my feet in relief. After romping in the Gulf of Mexico, I faced the beach/allegorical minefield, totally not wanting to repeat the same heartbreaking process. I had to get back at the house ultimately, so I just sucked it up and trekked across the beach and across the same fucking road that I will forever have hatred for.

I earned several monumental blisters on my feet, the size of silver dollars. I had to walk everywhere on the sides of my feet practically just to get to point A to point where-ever-the-fuck. It was until the show at the Skate Park Of Tampa, I started walking on the flats of my feet. When my band played, I busted every blister on my foot stomping on the stage and running back and forth on stage.

To add pain to disappointment, we all went to the Jupiter beach before our Pompano Beach show. The sand wasn't that hot and it was a stroll on the beach compared ... to ... the beach? Anyways, the day at the ocean went swimmingly (that's it, I'm done with puns) until my tour mate Tom (rhythm guitarist of Horizons) and new friend Clementine went to the nearby river for a freshwater dip. I decided to join their festivities and left my glasses at the beach because I figured why bring them if I'm just gonna go in the water again. Tom and Clementine left a little earlier than I did and I attempted to follow them. I walked across the beach and to the road and across the way I thought I saw them enter the woods to the river (I didn't have my glasses on so all I could recognize was the color of their swim suits). I walked towards the woods and found out that it was a dead end and I had to guess that Tom was secretly motherfucking Houdini and disappeared with Clementine to the river. I turned around and walked on those little acorns shaped like medieval Morning Stars (look it up) for literally an entire hour. A full hour of walking on what felt like broken glass and shattered dreams.

I ended up with cuts and gashes on the fresh peeled skin of my post-blistered feet. I hated myself the whole time until I jumped in the pool at Jarred's house to cool off. I hate beaches.

BML #4: The "Rat Tail" Story

Yours truly performed in a metal band called Illustrate The Apocalypse. Said metal band endured a week long tour with fellow bands, Horizons and In Alcatraz 1962. The tour's itinerary consisted of Orlando, Daytona, Tampa, Sarasota, Ft. Myers, Ft. Pierce, and Pompano Beach, Florida. For those who have no participated on a tour with other bands, everyone likes to fuck with each other constantly. This perpetual condition will provide a handful of additional Beav My Life's in the near future.

The bassist of In Alcatraz 1962, Jon, had a profound pleasure of inflicting "rat tails" on other people. It was always funny, but he was inclined to get me with rat tails all the time.

For the first instance, we had just finished playing our show in Sarasota at Stage 64. We were all breaking down our equipment and packing up our vans for the trip back to Tampa and call it a night. I grabbed our merch box full of our t-shirts and walked towards the van. Jon, just behind me, rat tailed the living shit out of left ankle. I could have promptly put the box down and held my fresh flesh wound, but instead I comically stood in place and yelled into the sky like in werewolf movies (I like to make them). I grasped the box as tightly as I could muster and yelled out to nowhere, "THIS HURTS AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!" It wasn't until I stepped into the van that I discovered that I was bleeding from the gash my beloved Jon gifted to me.

The next day, we all played a house show in the Ft. Myers/Cape Coral area. While I was in the kitchen, Jon dealt a barrage of rat tails on my husky ass when I was cornered by the fridge. Littered with lines and marks on my body, I took those rat tails like a bitch.

A few days later, we play in Pompano Beach at Solid Sound Studios. I had just acquired a severe sunburn (2nd degree burns, I earned sun spots on my shoulders from it) at Jupiter Beach/Inlet the day before. After performing our last set on tour at Solid Sound Studios, I walked around the venue with no shirt on because it was too unbearable to put my shirt back on when I was sweaty. As I was standing outside in the back, my naive-self said out loud, "With my luck, somebody's gonna smack my shoulders or Jon's gonna rat tail my shoulders." Sure enough, Jon was within an ear shot and delivered the most elegant and hellish rat tail in the history of rat tails. Like a certified whip, the frail end of the towel licked the sunburn on my shoulder and emitted a loud crack. I immediately screamed expletives and starting grunting the anguish away and walked back inside. I stood inside in the back of the venue facing the corner of the wall trying to calm myself. The only thing I accomplished was that my eyes started welling up and tears began to flow down my cheeks. Now for the record, I wasn't crying. I was simply tearing up because the pain was SO great that my body was doing nothing but reacting to the infliction.

In Alcatraz 1962's vocalist Andre felt terrible about my misfortune and told Jon to apologize to me. Jon did so and I forgave him. We're all brothers and it was all out of good fun. But damn, that rat tail fucking hurt. I now have a deep-rooted fear of being rat tailed. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Dead Man In Reno - Dead Man In Reno (2006)

Band: Dead Man In Reno

Genre: Metalcore/Deathcore

City/Country: Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Dead Man In Reno (2006)

Track Listing:

1. To Attain Everything (1:46)

2. From Here I Can See The Shore (3:36)

3. She's Tugging On My Heartstring (6:35)

4. Given A Season Of Sun (1:20)

5. Goodbye Tomorrow, Hello Dead Letters (5:02)

6. The Devil Made Him Do It (4:12)

7. He Said, She Said (3:08)

8. Cursed (8:07)

9. Even In My Dreams (5:30)

10. Love Stained Razor Blades (4:17)

Recommendation: 5. Goodbye Tomorrow, Hello Dead Letters

Download

In Alcatraz 1962 - Still Strong (2008)

Band: In Alcatraz 1962

Genre: Hardcore/Metal/Southern

City/Country: Springfield, Virginia, USA

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Still Strong (2008)

Track Listing:

1. I'm Getting Too Old For This (4:37)

2. Introductions (3:58)

3. Driven (3:31)

4. The Gift (2:59)

5. Maybe They're All Dead (4:04)

6. Winter Sun (4:37)

Recommendation: 3. Driven

Download

Helios Discography (2004 - 2009)

Band: Helios/Keith Kenniff

Genre: Indie/Electronic/Ambient

City/Country: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

Website: Myspace, Last.fm

Transmitted Vibrations Of Any Frequency I

Track Listing:

1. 10 Day Nation (1:18)

2. Two Up At Seven (3:46)

3. Mulier (6:34)

4. Sunes Christmas (3:58)

5. Shoulder To Hand (5:18)

6. Charenton (6:36)

7. Increase Stem Life (4:51)

8. Midian Idyllic (3:32)

9. Coast Off (4:44)

10.Falling In Swirls (4:41)

11. Caecus (4:47)

12. Easy Days (7:36)

Recommendation: 10. Falling In Swirls

Download

Transmitted Vibrations Of Any Frequency II

Track Listing:

1. Eclipse And Nafas (5:30)

2. Grand Ronde (5:44)

3. Life Cycle (4:43)

4. Harmonia (3:53)

5. Free Soil (5:48)

6. Mid-Air (1:00)

7. Facing West (4:50)

8. Sophie Blixt (2:20)

9. Pangenesis (4:51)

10. Divine (6:12)

Recommendation: 7. Facing West

Download

Unomia (2004)

Track Listing:

1. Buldir (1:25)

2. Clementine (5:12)

3. Cullin Hill (1:19)

4. Getting Through (0:41)

5. Lighthouse (2:41)

6. Luek (10:33)

7. Nine Black Alps (5:46)

8. Suns That Circling Go (2:57)

9. Two Mark (4:42)

10. Velius (5:39)

11. West Orange (4:44)

12. Homero Hymnus (4:56)

13. Samsara (6:26)

Recommendation: 2. Clementine

Download

Eingya (2006)

Track Listing:

1. Vargtimme (3:58)

2. Paper Tiger (4:34)

3. First Dream Called Ocean (3:51)

4. The Toy Garden (4:43)

5. Sons Of Light And Darkness (4:32)

6. Emancipation (2:35)

7. Bless This Morning Year (6:02)

8. Halving The Compass (5:27)

9. Dragonfly Across An Ancient Sky (5:41)

10. For Years And Years (5:33)

11. Coast Off (4:52)

Recommendation: 11. Coast Off

Download

Ayres (2007)

Track Listing:

1. A Rising Wind (5:05)

2. Woods And Gives Away (5:44)

3. Signed I Wish You Well (4:58)

4. Soft Collared Neck (3:24)

5. The Obeisant vine (4:27)

Recommendation: 4. Soft Collared Neck

Download

Live At The Triple Door (2008)

Track Listing:

1. The Toy Garden (4:58)

2. Come With Nothings (5:27)

3. Even Today (5:25)

4. Clementine (4:38)

5. Fourteen Drawings (5:07)

6. Emancipation (4:03)

7. Dragonfly Across An Ancient Sky (5:24)

8. A Mountain Of Ice (6:03)

Recommendation: 2. Come With Nothings

Download

Caesura (2008)

Track Listing:

1. Hope Valley Hill (5:18)

2. Come With Nothings (5:03)

3. Glimpse (5:51)

4. Fourteen Drawings (4:33)

5. Backlight (4:50)

6. The Red Truth (4:39)

7. A Mountain Of Ice (4:25)

8. Mima (4:41)

9. Shoulder To Hand (5:17)

10. Hollie (4:28)

Recommendation: 9. Shoulder To Hand

Download

Unreleased Vol. 1 (2009)

Track Listing:

1. Convivium (4:18)

2. Cross The Ocean (5:23)

3. The Evening Walk (3:56)

4. Bounce Dive (5:47)

5. Every Hair On Your Head (4:01)

6. South Tree (4:06)

7. Friedel (5:49)

8. Distance (4:31)

9. Carry With Us (4:05)

10. The Jaguar Sun (4:29)

Recommendation: 3. The Evening Walk

Download

BML #3: The "Teeth" Story

A little backstory first on the famous Beaver teeth I have.

As it is apparent in the majority of my pictures, I have buck teeth. Most people would have applied braces at an early age when they have buck teeth. I HAVE been fitted for braces when I was 10, but my family ran into financial crisis and became homeless for an entire summer and we couldn't afford the braces anymore. In result of not being able to have these braces, instead of hiding in the shame for my whole life, I decided to embrace my beaver-esque image. Now onto the story...

Around the age of 7, my blessed aunt was baby sitting me (she was roughly now my age at the time). At this age I was starting to lose teeth. Two baby teeth in the same location as my obnoxious front teeth were both loose at the same time. *cue Donald Yetter Gardner - All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth*

Myself and a few lost names were playing out by the street, laughing and frolicking. I was running full speed along the sidewalk when my dumb ass tripped on the crack of the sidewalk, did a superman into the ground face first. What were two loose front teeth were now jammed back up into my gums. Picture a handful of white chic-lets forced into a rotten watermelon slice. Yeaaaaaaaaa...

I ran to my aunt, my face fucked up, yelling, "Aunt Mandy! I'm bleeding!" She sprinted to my mother and brought her out and I repeated "Mommy, I'm bleeding!" She started screaming and threw my ass in the car and ran every red light from the house to the hospital at Mach 4. Delirious, my mother rushed me to the emergency room. the doctor responded, "I cannot treat this for this is a dental issue. We need to transfer him to the nearest dental office immediately."

I was rushed via ambulance to the nearest dental office. I don't remember much of the dental office, but I do recall a few details. I do remember that The Great Mouse Detective was playing on the overhead TV in the office and that they tried to apply anesthesia to my mouth but that shit didn't work. The Novocain leaked through my shredded gums and my tongue numb instead. So with no anesthetics, the dentist utilized pliers on my teeth. I remember her trying so hard to pull those bastards out of my face, when she accomplished ripping out the enamel, the actual tooth fell to the floor because she used so much effort to tear them out. After she jerked the first tooth out which fell to the ground, she looked at me and said, "Alright, now the other tooth."

I spent the rest of the 1st grade with no front teeth. Today, I have evidence of this. My current front teeth have white marks which are commonly mistaken as fluoride stains. They are actually contact marks from when the baby teeth were pushed back up in my mouth, they collided with my mature teeth. That's fucked up if you ask me.

BML #2: The "Steak N' Shake" Story

Somewhere in the distant year of 2008, I was hanging out with several of my Boca Raton friends (only one that I still associate with ironically). I had Steak N' Shake for lunch that day with my dad since we spent the morning at Sam Ash looking at microphones and PA systems. Later that same day my friends want to go to the same Steak N' Shake (not the point of the story, but retarded regardless).

While waiting for our meals (Frisco Melt ftw), my ex-drummer Brian dared me to eat one of those little green pepper that are in the glass jars. They looked spicy but I didn't give a fuck, I've eaten spicier before (ie. don't eat habaneros). My fingers were either too husky to fit in the neck of the jar or that all the peppers were too far down in the jar to grab or a combination of both, only a fortunate few will ever know. With a stroke of ingenuity (barely), I use a knife to attempt to scoop a pepper out of the jar, kinda like if it were a ketchup bottle with the asshole ketchup not coming out.

Why a fork wasn't used to just stab a few peppers out, my faggot brain did not think of this.

Anyways, I tilted the jar more and more horizontal to get a pepper on the knife. Focused on the actually peppers and knife, I was not, however, focused on the vinegar content of the jar. The vinegar level became to high, resulting in most of the vinegar pouring into my lap Young Frankenstein style. The toxic vinegar soaked through my pants, onto my twig & berries, torturing my balls into agony. I swear for that moment, I thought I heard my dick actually screaming in pain.

Not only did my junk burn from the liquid pepper spray, it smelled horrible. I awkward walked to the restroom (again) and tried my best to clean myself up. I stopped the searing pain on my drive shaft and ball bearings (which was good for me). I did not accomplish to eliminate the pungent smell of the spicy vinegar (which was not good for everyone else on the car ride home).

Next time somebody dares me anything, I'll use a forking fork.

BML #1: The "Minus The Bear" Story

My most infamous and notorious story of all. Whenever I'm hanging out with a new group of friends, this story is always to the first to be recommended to be shared to the new kids. God damn it Shawn.

Sometime in August of 2008, myself and my good friends Mandy and Spinner went to see my favorite band of all time, Minus The Bear. MTB performed at a venue in Ft. Lauderdale, FL called Revolution Live. The way the venue is designed; there's the main floor where the bars and seats are, the second floor via staircase (will be an important detail soon), and the "dance floor" or the "pit" which is a sub-level in the center of the venue about 7 feet below the first floor (also via staircase).

The first band 27 played. They were mediocre at best with deep ambient tones and weird nature sounds throughout the entire set. The second band to perform was Annuals, and they were all that and a bag of chips. Annuals nearly changed my life when I saw them, as they were near perfection with their powerful mix-genre experience that everyone should partake in.

The third and headlining act was of course Minus The Bear. Midway through the set, I felt a slight discomfort in my stomach as it was most likely the pre-show Taco Bell we ate on the way to the show. I had to fart, as it seems. I'm standing in the middle of a crowd of 200 people so I fire away. Turns out my body wants revenge on me and instead of a fart creeping out of my ass, I shit my fucking pants.

I shit my pants in the middle of the set of my favorite band of all time.

Instantly, I regretted ever eating food in general and thinking that farting was a swell idea. I shuffle my embarrassed self out of the dance floor and realize that all off the restrooms are upstairs.

With chocolate cake in my pants and between my fat cheeks, I need to awkwardly walk up the stairs and back around the venue to the restrooms where I spent the next 20 minutes cleaning myself up in shame. I was 18 years old and I shit myself in a public facility.

This was never mentioned to anybody until 8 months ago when this whole "Beav My Life" idea started by some crazy friends. Leave it to your friends to gain notoriety from your troubles.

First post! No care ever! Blogflip!

Hello all, my name is Ross "Beaver" Huddleston. This blog will be my personal journal, my anecdotes of entertaining fails of my life, and a submissions of albums from my personal library from my favorite artists. Hope you all enjoy everything on this blog. Happy reading!