As it is apparent in the majority of my pictures, I have buck teeth. Most people would have applied braces at an early age when they have buck teeth. I HAVE been fitted for braces when I was 10, but my family ran into financial crisis and became homeless for an entire summer and we couldn't afford the braces anymore. In result of not being able to have these braces, instead of hiding in the shame for my whole life, I decided to embrace my beaver-esque image. Now onto the story...
Around the age of 7, my blessed aunt was baby sitting me (she was roughly now my age at the time). At this age I was starting to lose teeth. Two baby teeth in the same location as my obnoxious front teeth were both loose at the same time. *cue Donald Yetter Gardner - All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth*
Myself and a few lost names were playing out by the street, laughing and frolicking. I was running full speed along the sidewalk when my dumb ass tripped on the crack of the sidewalk, did a superman into the ground face first. What were two loose front teeth were now jammed back up into my gums. Picture a handful of white chic-lets forced into a rotten watermelon slice. Yeaaaaaaaaa...
I ran to my aunt, my face fucked up, yelling, "Aunt Mandy! I'm bleeding!" She sprinted to my mother and brought her out and I repeated "Mommy, I'm bleeding!" She started screaming and threw my ass in the car and ran every red light from the house to the hospital at Mach 4. Delirious, my mother rushed me to the emergency room. the doctor responded, "I cannot treat this for this is a dental issue. We need to transfer him to the nearest dental office immediately."
I was rushed via ambulance to the nearest dental office. I don't remember much of the dental office, but I do recall a few details. I do remember that The Great Mouse Detective was playing on the overhead TV in the office and that they tried to apply anesthesia to my mouth but that shit didn't work. The Novocain leaked through my shredded gums and my tongue numb instead. So with no anesthetics, the dentist utilized pliers on my teeth. I remember her trying so hard to pull those bastards out of my face, when she accomplished ripping out the enamel, the actual tooth fell to the floor because she used so much effort to tear them out. After she jerked the first tooth out which fell to the ground, she looked at me and said, "Alright, now the other tooth."
I spent the rest of the 1st grade with no front teeth. Today, I have evidence of this. My current front teeth have white marks which are commonly mistaken as fluoride stains. They are actually contact marks from when the baby teeth were pushed back up in my mouth, they collided with my mature teeth. That's fucked up if you ask me.
No comments:
Post a Comment